Stopped In Our Tracks
Stories of U.G. In India from the Notebooks of K. ChandrasekharTranslated and Edited by J.S.R.L. Narayana Moorty 2d/3d Series
Chalam
October 15, 1964 was an unforgettable day in my life. That was the day when I first met Mr. Chalam, who was firmly implanted in Arunachala.
It was the day when my friendship through correspondence, which began in my student days, took me in my nineteenth year into his presence. I said to him incidentally, "I sometimes feel like writing something."
Chalam looking steadily into my eyes asked, "For whose sake?" I was stunned. I had never asked myself that question. True, whom should I write for? For others or for myself? After a while Chalam spoke again, "'Is it just for ourselves that we write, because we can't live without writing?' That question must keep arising till we feel that way." Exactly 28 years later I feel that I have the right answer to that question.
Ever since I made friends with U.G., Chalam and Nartaki shared my enthusiasm, my joys and sorrows and vibrated with me. Chalam is no longer with us. Nartaki has settled down in Arunachala. When a draft of what I wrote about U.G. was read to him, Chalam nodded his head in satisfaction and said, "Good." I was amazed at myself. Chalam talked about U.G. in every letter he wrote to me in those days.
Chalam travelled to Bangalore to see U.G. year after year, disregarding his own ill health. Because U.G. noticed something special about Chalam, he travelled to Arunachala when Chalam was on his death bed. This pleased Chalam and other inmates of Ramanasthan (the house where Chalam lived in Tiruvannamalai). Here are some of Chalam's letters to me:
i.
Arunachala
January 4, 1973
Chandrasekhar:
I was happy to read your letter. Although I never had any such experience, I can picture how great it would be when a saint's love alights on us and mingles with us intimately.
People living here with 'Shau' [Chalam's daughter Sowris, a devotee of Sri Ramana Maharshi] lack the proper perspective. They suffer too much from their loving familiarity. I suppose that Sri Krishna deluded people without letting them know who he really was.
I wish you would make a recording of your days and nights with U.G. Perhaps it is difficult to write from such a perspective.
With the blessings of Iswara,
Chalam
ii.
Arunachala
January 10, 1973
Chandrasekhar:
Your letter is exciting. Don't hesitate. Iswara is getting a great deed done through you. It's enough if you remain as an instrument.
Shau is conveying this suggestion to you. You should put him in a mood and put a tape recorder in front of him. It doesn't matter in what language he speaks. If you first record what he says, then we can think of the rest.
My idea is that you should record every day whatever is happening there, just as in the book Day by Day with Bhagawan and just as M. recorded the Daily Routine of Paramahamsa. I know it is difficult to do that.
I tried to do the same in Ramanasthan. But I was unable to. Unless orders come from above, these things are not possible for ordinary men like you and me. However it may be, a great relief in these matters is that there won't be any regret that 'we couldn't do them' because these matters are not in our hands.
The title U.G. suggested is very good. What couldn't be done if he wishes it.
I feel that we are on the brink of exciting times. So be it. We too will follow you from here jumping and hopping....
With Iswara's blessings,
Chalam
It was the day when my friendship through correspondence, which began in my student days, took me in my nineteenth year into his presence. I said to him incidentally, "I sometimes feel like writing something."
Chalam looking steadily into my eyes asked, "For whose sake?" I was stunned. I had never asked myself that question. True, whom should I write for? For others or for myself? After a while Chalam spoke again, "'Is it just for ourselves that we write, because we can't live without writing?' That question must keep arising till we feel that way." Exactly 28 years later I feel that I have the right answer to that question.
Ever since I made friends with U.G., Chalam and Nartaki shared my enthusiasm, my joys and sorrows and vibrated with me. Chalam is no longer with us. Nartaki has settled down in Arunachala. When a draft of what I wrote about U.G. was read to him, Chalam nodded his head in satisfaction and said, "Good." I was amazed at myself. Chalam talked about U.G. in every letter he wrote to me in those days.
Chalam travelled to Bangalore to see U.G. year after year, disregarding his own ill health. Because U.G. noticed something special about Chalam, he travelled to Arunachala when Chalam was on his death bed. This pleased Chalam and other inmates of Ramanasthan (the house where Chalam lived in Tiruvannamalai). Here are some of Chalam's letters to me:
Arunachala
January 4, 1973
Chandrasekhar:
I was happy to read your letter. Although I never had any such experience, I can picture how great it would be when a saint's love alights on us and mingles with us intimately.
People living here with 'Shau' [Chalam's daughter Sowris, a devotee of Sri Ramana Maharshi] lack the proper perspective. They suffer too much from their loving familiarity. I suppose that Sri Krishna deluded people without letting them know who he really was.
I wish you would make a recording of your days and nights with U.G. Perhaps it is difficult to write from such a perspective.
With the blessings of Iswara,
Chalam
Arunachala
January 10, 1973
Chandrasekhar:
Your letter is exciting. Don't hesitate. Iswara is getting a great deed done through you. It's enough if you remain as an instrument.
Shau is conveying this suggestion to you. You should put him in a mood and put a tape recorder in front of him. It doesn't matter in what language he speaks. If you first record what he says, then we can think of the rest.
My idea is that you should record every day whatever is happening there, just as in the book Day by Day with Bhagawan and just as M. recorded the Daily Routine of Paramahamsa. I know it is difficult to do that.
I tried to do the same in Ramanasthan. But I was unable to. Unless orders come from above, these things are not possible for ordinary men like you and me. However it may be, a great relief in these matters is that there won't be any regret that 'we couldn't do them' because these matters are not in our hands.
The title U.G. suggested is very good. What couldn't be done if he wishes it.
I feel that we are on the brink of exciting times. So be it. We too will follow you from here jumping and hopping....
With Iswara's blessings,
Chalam
